Bi Definition meets on the first Saturday and third Tuesday of every month at 7:00 p.m. at the BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady St. for invigorating and enlightening discussions about specific topics pertaining to bisexuality. There will be no discussion on Saturday, July 4.   "Bisexuals and Polyamory" will be the main topic for discussion on both Saturday, May 2 and Tuesday, May 19. Polyamory is openly and honestly loving more than one person at any given time. It challenges the widely held belief that monogamy is the only acceptable form of relationship. Is polyamory right for you? Come and find out.   "The Dynamics of Privilege" will be explored at 7:00 p.m. on Saturday, June 6 and Tuesday, June 16. Young, white, straight, able-bodied Christian men enjoy the most privilege in North America, but what are the ramifications for bisexuals, cross-dressers, biracial people, agnostics, differently-abled, older/younger and others in "gray areas" of society?   On Tuesday, July 21, persons attending will discuss "Living Bisexually Ever After." Retaining your bisexual identity may be difficult when in relationships with gay or straight partners. Come to the BestD Clinic to learn ways to preserve your sense of fluidity when in long-term relationships with monosexuals.   An annual Bi Definition membership, which includes discreet newsletter mailings, free admittance to all bi events at BestD Clinic and membership in the Midwestern Bisexual Alliance and BiNet USA, is just $15 per year or $5 for a single gathering. In case of extreme financial hardship, an exchange of a service donation can be arranged for attendance. midwest

The Midwestern Bisexual Alliance, Inc. has sprung from the ashes of BiNet Midwest. Formed in order to give the Midwest region more autonomy and strength, the MBA has a mission of "Empowering bisexuals in the heartland of America."   The MBA promises not only to be an "umbrella" for all local groups when guidance is needed, but will offer outlets for individual bisexuals in a manner area groups don't provide. Some of its initial projects are looking into the feasibility of a 1-800# hotline, holding quarterly gatherings which include outdoor social events each summer, structuring local groups' members with the MBA's membership, and fundraising. This year's social activity will be held during the July MAGIC Picnic in Madison.   Bi Definition members will automatically become MBA (and BiNet USA) members and will receive newsletters and the right to vote in elections. The first board of directors election will be held at this year's general membership meeting during the BECAUSE conference in Minneapolis, April 24–26. Bi Definition members not able to attend this meeting may vote by mailing the ballot in their first regional newsletter.   The organizational changes were decided by participants in the March 1998 annual Leadership Retreat and other previous BiNet Midwest members not able to attend.   The MBA will continue to work closely with BiNet USA.

Africentric BiBM, 5'11", 275#, spiritual, intellectual, boy-masculine encourager, with wide range of interests, seeking to surrender control to a similar G/BiBM, 30-50, over 6', 275-325# gainer (preferred), hirsute and Daddy-masculine, who'll take charge for mentoring, friendship, movies, conversation, comfort, and company—and more? #1004   BiF looking for college aged individuals to hang out with. Coffee shops, movies, walks, and other fun. #1003   BiWM, 39, 5'10", 130 lbs. Teacher, gardener, photographer, trumpet player, science fiction/fantasy reader. Looking for slim female or male, N/S, intelligent, cute, and passionate with similar interests. #1002   I look good naked, do you? Bisexual male, average height, skinny, late 30's. I love being held and caressed and spanked. I desire romance, candle-lit dinners and passionate days and nights. I long for loyalty and intelligence from a slender, N/S lover, and offer you the same. Will you write? #1005   Is this your womyn? Very attractive, feminine, Lesbian-identified Pre-op MTFTS, 21, 5'8", 120 lb., very OUT in public, into leather, Ellen, Xena, Melissa Etheridge and everything Queer-related. Involved w/LGBT and feminist organizations. Seeking LTR with G/Bi W/HF, 21-31, 5'6" or taller, blonde a plus, butch/femme unimportant. Smoker OK. No drugs or games. #1001

April Sat. 11 @ 7:00 P.M. Gemini Gender Group Meeting. Unitarian Universalist West, Brookfield. Info: 297-9328. Sat. 18 @ 8:00 P.M. Ani DiFranco concert. The Rave. Tues. 21 @ 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Putting the "Sex" Back into Bisexuality." BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady St. Fri. 24 - Sun. 26. BECAUSE Conference. Twin Cities.   May Sat. 2 @ 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Bi's and Polyamory." BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady. Sat. 9 @ 7:00 P.M. Gemini Gender Group Meeting. Unitarian Universalist West, Brookfield. Info: 297-9328. Tues. 19 @ 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Bi's and Polyamory." BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady St.   June Sat. 6 @ 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "The Dynamics of Privilege."BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady. Sat. 9 @ 7:00 P.M. Gemini Gender Group Meeting. Unitarian Universalist West, Brookfield. Info: 297-9328. Tues. 16 @ 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "The Dynamics of Privilege." BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady St.   July No Sat. 4th of July meeting! Sat. 9 @ 7:00 P.M. Gemini Gender Group Meeting. Unitarian Universalist West, Brookfield. Info: 297-9328. Tues. 19 @ 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Living Bisexually Ever After." BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady St. Sat. 18. MAGIC Picnic. Brittingham Park, Madison.   August Sat. @ 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: TBA. BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady. Sat. @ 7:00 P.M. Gemini Gender Group Meeting. Unitarian Universalist West, Brookfield. Info: 297-9328. Tues. @ 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: TBA. BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady St. Fri. 28 - Sun.30. Pridefest. Summerfest Grounds. 272-FEST.  

"Different Strokes"   Dear Sex Kitty,   A recent partner (new to a relationship with a woman) would whisper fantasies of using a "strap-on." Then when I actually bought the items we'd discussed, she freaked and ran away. What's up and how should I introduce use of such a toy to a new partner? sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSigned, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssStymied   Dear Stymied,   Perhaps the reality was just too much for your little new chiquita. Whispering sweet fantasies about sex toys and discussing the items are two totally separate conversations. Did you and your loved really communicate on this issue before you purchased the prosthetic penis? Next time, I suggest a visit (together) to your favorite sexual pleasure store.   ___________   Dear Sex Kitty,   Your advice was so cool in the debut column that I thought I'd test your technical knowledge. Is there a physiological difference with how bisexuals feel when attracted to men as opposed to women? I seem to notice "lust" higher-up in my stomach with men. sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSigned, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssStumped ya?   Okay, Smarty, Stumpy Pants,   Trying to outsmart the omnipotent pussy cat? Rrrrr...scratch, scratch. Are you sure that you don't just have "gas"? Alright, okay, perhaps my ire is up because well...I have been stumped. Yes, I admit it. This is a sad moment in Sex Kitty history. Let us pause and grieve. Sob, sob.   Enough mourning. With dogged determination, I consulted, researched, dug and read. But to no avail. From Mr. Kinsey to Mr. Magoo, I could not find any research done on physiological differences in how bisexuals feel when attracted to men or women. My last hope is you, dear readers. Since the stupendary sex kitten has been stumped, what do you, my little kitties, have to say? Please include your own gender in your observations.   ___________   Dear Sex Kitty,   How could someone make their nipples more stimulative or responsive? sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSigned, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssGimme More   Dear Gimme More,   Ohhhh...this job is so exhausting. I have searched high and low for an answer, and can safely say that I have thoroughly researched your question. Let's first talk about technique. Pulling, pinching, sucking, biting, licking–have you tried all of these or any combinations? (Personally, I like a little pain with my pleasure ~ clothespins!?!?!)   A slightly more radical idea would be piercing. Again, one would have to enjoy a little agony with the ecstasy. Of all the people I talked to who have had their nipples pierced, not one regretted the decision.   Unfortunately, I did find one unique gentleman for whom nothing worked, try as I may and try as I might, to stimulate his lovely nipples. He claimed that he felt no sexual pleasure from my numerous trials. So, there are some people who will never understand nipple pleasure at its peak.

Lately, it feels like our mission of developing a bisexual community in Milwaukee is really paying off. It started with a jump in the lake at an ad hoc New Year's Eve Party, just days before our Second Anniversary Party. In March, another members-and-guests-only party was tremendous fun. This one was a "gender-bender" event, with party goers playing with their outward appearance! Continuing twice-monthly gatherings at BestD are providing support and a wonderful sense of Bi community.   People are getting geared up for the upcoming road trip to BECAUSE, the Bisexual Empowerment Conference in Minneapolis. Plans are also being made for attending the Madison Magic Picnic and Pridefest here in Milwaukee.   On a more political note, Bi Definition participated in an LGB panel presentation and an LGBT Info Fair, both held at UWM, and discussions continue with HRL Milwaukee about bi and trans inclusivity.   Bi for now, Carol and Steve howfeel

Right now I am only out to close friends and a few family members, but I just started coming out and I plan to expand this group. It is important to me to challenge assumptions made about me, especially since I am currently in a heterosexual monogamous relationship. This is important to me partly because I end up feeling like a part of me is missing if I am silent and partly because I feel it is important to challenge heterosexual privilege.   sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssN. S. sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssWauwatosa   I'm not. My sexuality is personal and I choose to keep it that way.   sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssS.B. sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssMilwaukee   I'm out to my friends, family, and acquaintances, including members of the GLBT and straight communities. Since I'm back in college, I feel like I'm in a pretty accepting environment to be so open. However, if I had been more out to myself when I was teaching, deciding to reveal that I was bisexual at work would have been much harder. I wouldn't have wanted parents worrying about whether I would corrupt their young ones. Both parents and children need to trust teachers in order for there to be learning.   sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssPeter sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssMilwaukee

"Born Too Soon"   Many people think that they were born with certain proclivities. Sexual orientation and gender are just two of the various attributes which some feel they have no control over.   The issue that I feel I have had no choice about is that I believe I was born too soon. Not that I was a premature baby, but rather, I would have been able to live more comfortably and in sync with the universe if I had been created a few (if not many) centuries from now.   I regularly feel frustrated with society's strong resistance to what I believe are absolute "no-brainers." Usually this resistance takes the form of bipolarity, a discussion of opposites with rare mention of a more likely combined reality.   Almost every endeavor on which I embark, and almost all of who I am is a balance of extremes that human beings place on me. I find myself constantly reaching, or already at the most truthful center in a world which consistently pulls me to one team or pushes me toward another.   Bipolarism is played out in many ways. For example, gays and straights have historically ignored bisexuality. Blacks and whites usually insist that biracial people insult their Caucasian parent by disavowing their white ancestry. And few seem to want to compromise on abortion "within the first trimester."   Perhaps the biggest offenses are found in the arena of religion. Believers speak of a "spiritual superior" as if there is a globally accepted agreement about and credible evidence of its existence. Atheists are just as arrogant, insisting that they "know" that no such entity exists even though the burden of proof does rest in the hands of the faithful.   Religionists regularly violate the constitutionally protected principle of separation of state and church*. Among these sanctioned, hypocritical infractions are: "In God We Trust" is imprinted on all monetary units (which all must use to survive), the requirement to "swear to God" (to tell the truth) in the court system and religious trespassing into federally approved nationalistic songs such as the Pledge of Allegiance. No where in society does our supposed secular government extend this same kind of support to disbelievers and doubters.   Because of the First Amendment and the eventual truth that comes of free speech, the culmination of unnecessary bipolar extremes will one day many, many years from now, will come to pass. All systems which are flawed from the start will eventually fail.   I just wish that hurtful bipolarism would have fallen long before I was around to have to live with its pervasive and oppressing infiltration. __________________   *The Freedom from Religion Foundation alters the common expression, "church and state," as I have done, in order to show the greater importance of state.   straight

"Thou shall not commit adultery." Most people know this statement as the seventh of ten commandments issued by God to Moses, given as rules for the Jews and how they should behave as a society.   Through time, though, the word "adultery" has come to mean more than it originally did. In Matthew is probably its most oppressive definition. In Chapter 5, verse 28, Matthew presents Jesus as saying, "But I say unto you that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery already in his mind." In other words, one only has to think about it in order to commit this sin.   So, what is adultery? The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (third edition) says it is "voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse."   The Bible would have us believe adultery is sexual intercourse, whether real or imagined, with a female. (The Bible, after all, is written from a male point of view.) Nowhere does it say that it is adultery for a woman to lust after a man, for a man to lust after a man or for a woman to lust after a woman.   Bible thumpers, such as the Southern Baptists and others, preach that sex with anybody is adultery. The religious hierarchy "interpret" God's message for us misguided souls who can't think for ourselves. In that "interpretation," adultery becomes pretty much anything that is even remotely related to sex (and even some things that are not). These religious zealots, these puffed-up puratics, have bent Biblical teachings to fit their agenda and whipped social thinking to conform to the idea that same-sex or bisexual relationships are perverted and unholy forms of adultery.   This is why those who feel attracted to what is euphemistically referred to as a "Bohemian" lifestyle often try to repress those feelings and feel guilty about even having them in the first place.   Many interviews with persons who are gay and/or bisexual have a common thread—the individual felt that the non-traditional attractions they were feeling as a young person were somehow wrong and not in step with Biblical or social norms. In other words, they felt guilty of adultery. Many tried to repress those feelings, only to suffer severe psychological damage and be driven to attempt suicide.   And for what? Biblical scholars agree that Matthew probably did not write the Book of Matthew. Even if he did, he wrote it from his own human point of view. If a scribe wrote Matthew's words (which is believed to be more plausible), the scribe "interpreted" Matthew and wrote from his (the scribe's) point of view. None of the books of the Bible are written from Jesus' point of view. They write about him and of him, but are not from him.   But, make no mistake about adultery. Even non-traditional partners should expect fidelity, commitment, companionship and love just as one expects those qualities in traditional partnerships. To act any differently is adultery. To feel non-traditional partner desire is not. It is merely a yearning for intimacy, companionship, discovery, trust and acceptance as part of the cosmic unity.   youth

"Who To Love?"   Recently a friend of mine came to me with a question. She had been dating women for over a year and then, a few months ago, she fell in love with a man. She was almost convinced she was a lesbian but when she fell in love with this man she knew she truly was a bisexual. Her problem was the fact that this man asked her if she would be happier with a woman. She turned to me, totally confused about how to respond to a question like that.   I told her she should respond to the question with words from her heart. Unfortunately, I could only tell her to be honest.   My friend came back a few days later and told me that she had told her boyfriend she loved him and she didn't care what gender he is. She loves who she loves–the person's gender doesn't matter. I totally agreed with her.   So it just goes to show that we bisexuals deal with issues of loving from a whole new perspective. Both men and women have something unique and different when it comes to relationships. So as bisexuals we just keep on loving them.......Both. __________________   Basia is a bisexual youth activist living in Milwaukee and is the Midwestern Bisexual Alliance Youth Organizer. For more information regarding the Bi Youth Initiative, please contact bidef@netwurx.net

Dear AfterWords,   When I moved to Milwaukee four months ago, the first item on my agenda was to locate important queer businesses and try to give them both my support and my patronage. I found your store to be a wonderful resource for gay and lesbian books and other paraphernalia. sssss Unfortunately, as a bisexual woman, I have found very little bisexual support at Afterwords. I have made a point to go out of my way to purchase items at your store in order to support a queer business, but I am finding that the more times I visit Afterwords, the less there is for me to buy. sssss I appreciate the small section of books on bisexuality but in order for bisexuals to have a cohesive population within the GLBT community, we need to have the same resources available to us, including fictional books, keychains, cards, pins, bumper stickers, t-shirts, etc. I want to buy my holiday presents from you, but I cannot do so if you do not have items that fit my lifestyle and that of my community. sssss The bisexual community in Milwaukee is small, but only with the support of the greater queer community can we hope to become more visible. I hope that we can count on the support of Afterwords to provide GLBT items for the entire community. Please let me know if you need names of distributors or ideas for items to sell. sssss Sincerely, Manya Shorr Ten% Club member

To the Editors:   Thanks for all of your hard work on our behalf! ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssR.A.B. ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssMilwaukee

1984 - BiPOL sponsors the first Bisexual Rights Rally outside the 1984 Democratic National Convention in San Francisco. The rally features nine speakers from civil rights groups allied with the Bisexual Movement. sssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss- BiNet USA fun

Both Ways sssss Use the word clues to fill in the numbered blanks of the first part. Each letter of the solution will be paired with the same number in the second half of the puzzle. Work back and forth between the two parts to reveal a quote said about Julius Caesar, and its author.

sssss Part 1 sssss sssss Part 2 sssss sssss

Crossword Puzzle

kinsey

Rate Yourself on the Kinsey Scale sssss Developed by sexologist Alfred Kinsey in the late 1940's to show the continuum of sexual behavior in human beings.

0 - Exclusively heterosexual behavior 1 - Predominately heterosexual with minor homosexual behavior 2 - Predominately heterosexual with moderate homosexual behavior 3 - Equally heterosexual and homosexual behavior 4 - Predominately homosexual with moderate heterosexual behavior 5 - Predominately homosexual with minor heterosexual behavior 6 - Exclusively homosexual behavior

It should be emphasized that this is a rating of sexual behavior only and a possible indicator of sexual orientation, which may vary over a lifetime. Other elements, including romantic and emotional feelings, fantasies and philosophical ideas can play into an individual's self-identity. sssss See other issues of Bi All Means! sssss Back home to Bi Definition. sssss sssss sssss