Volume 8, Number
3(Fall 2003)
ssss Articles
sssssssBi
Definition Undaunted by Pridefest Weekend Weather
sssssssThe Bisexual
Privilege
ssssss Annual
Bi Camping Trip Was Blissful Fun
ssssss Book
Review Corner
ssssss Bisexual
Inclusion
ssssss Spa Night
ssssCalendar
ssssColumns
sssssssBi
The Editor
sssssssUpcoming
Discussion Topics
ssss
Disclaimer
Bi All Means! is a publication of Bi Definition, a bisexual social, support and activist organization in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. BAM is published quarterly and is offered to those on our mailing list on a subscription basis. To subscribe simply fill out this form.
Opinions expressed by writers in BAM are not necessarily those of the editors, publisher, advertisers nor the philosophy of Bi Definition. Any reference made to any individual or organization should not be construed as an indication of the same's orientation.
We reserve the right to edit any submission at our sole discretion.
Those who wish to contribute letters, articles, stories, poems or artwork
are encouraged to do so, and may have their names withheld if so desired.
Please provide text submissions typed double-spaced. Send all submissions
to: Bi All Means!/Bi Definition,
c/o Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, Suite 101, 315 W. Court St., Milwaukee,
WI 53212 ,
or e-mail bidef@hotmail.com
The unauthorized use of the ‘Bi Definition’ name is strictly
prohibited to members and nonmembers alike, except when written permission
is received from the current organizational leadership.
Vision Statement
Bi Definition shall provide a social, support and
activist organizational resource for bisexuals, people who do not like
labels and their allies residing in and visiting metropolitan Milwaukee,
WI. It shall work for equal rights and the liberation of all area bisexuals
and others who refuse strict heterosexual and/or homosexual personal identification.
Bi Definition will also collect and distribute information
on bisexuality.
Governance Statement
In order to insure that all minority opinions are
considered at business meetings, Bi Definition will use the consensus process
of decision making for governing.
Has your life been full of tension and stress? Has the rat race been going too fast? Do you want a night of pampering? If you answered yes to any of the previous questions, then Spa Night is for you.
This is our second year to have a Spa night and those attending last year went home relaxed, rejuvenated and renewed. This year Seven and Leslie will be our hosts. The evening will begin at 6:30p.m. And conclude at 10:30p.m...
Come enjoy hand and foot massage, nail painting or a facial massage from our very own Bi- massage therapist. The cost is $10.00 per person to cover our expenses and replenish Bi Def’s till.
For health reasons, we
ask everyone attending to wash their feet before coming and bring your
own towel. Thanks.
Questions or needing directions, call Deb at 259-0203 or Leslie at 481-2604.
Bisexual
Inclusion: Making Progress & More To Do
By Nikki
Our goal this year has been to make bisexuality more visible in the queer community. We have done several different things towards this end. Here is a review of what is being done and what you can do to help.
In Step: Nikki is writing a monthly bi article for In Step. You can help by writing letters to the editor about anything relating to bisexuality.
LGBT Community Center Board: At the last business meeting we decided to sponsor a Bi Definition member to become a member of the LGBT Community Center. Scott will be doing this with help from Stefanie who is also a member. They will keep us informed of Center events and will be a bisexual presence at Center meetings.
LGBT Community Center Volunteering: We are encouraging Bi Definition members to help out at the center by volunteering one four hour shift per month at the Community Center front desk. The Center holds training sessions for this quarterly. The next two trainings will be Thursday, September 11th and . For more information contact Kathy Herbst at kherbst@mkelgbt.org or (414) 271-2656.
Bi Bar Outings: About once a month we have been gathering at different
queer bars and many of us wear bi pride paraphernalia. Check the
phone info line or email Nikki your email address to be notified by email
(nikkicow3@aol.com)
Married Women who Love Women by Karen Strock
I do not profess to be a writer, but I read. When Scott and I recently took a vacation to Washington I brought along this book. The title intrigued me as I thought it would be a book that can pertain to many Bisexuals, and yes, I could use it for a book review column for BAM. With that in mind I brought a highlighter to be kept at my side to mark quotes for the article and possible discussion at future Bi Def meetings.
I enjoyed Karen Strock’s style of writing. She had personally gone through struggles as a married woman who fell in love with a woman and came to the conclusion she was a Lesbian.
The book included many personal accounts of other women and how they dealt with and adapted to their feelings for women while still being married. Some women stayed in their marriages, never revealing their desires to their husbands. Others let their feelings be known and were accepted by them and stayed married with a woman lover too. Others divorced and relabeled themselves as Bisexual or Lesbian.
I am recommending this book for any single or married woman who has had a friend, sister, or mother that has loved another woman in their lives. The chapters were straight forward in their approach and it was easy to read.
I would love to list the titles of chapters or give you some quotes, but alas on the trip home in the Seattle airport I had to relocate clothing from one suitcase to another to avoid an over weight penalty. Somehow I pulled the book out and left it on the airline counter. My hope is some woman picked it up and had the courage to read it and enjoy it as much as I did.
Unfortunately I now have to buy another copy so my husband can read
it.
Annual
Bi Camping Trip Was Blissful Fun
By Nikki
Years ago I went to the Bi Definition campout. The company was wonderful. However, it rained, my tent leaked, and it was cold. Used to California weather where it never rains and is always warm in the summer, I swore off Wisconsin camping.
I am so glad I changed my mind this yearJ Seven of us camped at the Greenbush camp site this July. Meals were communal and we took turns so we all had an opportunity to feed everyone else and also had the opportunity to sit around being lazy and enjoying the great outdoors and the fantastic weather while others prepared a meal for us.
Saturday afternoon we drove over to Long Lake for swimming, lunch, and more indulging in languid laziness—some even napped in the shade (others napped back in their tents and met up with us very late!)
By Saturday evening we had been joined by four more Bi Definition friends making a large circle ‘round the campfire. And we had to sit way back because Deb built us a huge bonfire that night! Once the fire died down a little we played a rousing game of truth or dare. One person walked away with the nickname ‘soft lips’ and another thrilled us all when she whipped off her sweat pants (turns out she had on shorts, though). We all laughed for hours and my stomach was sore the next day.
We all were having such a marvelous time that our four visitors had to make the drive home quite late. They all agreed that next year they’d like to come and camp.
Deb and Scot are wonderful camp hosts. They do a lot of work organizing the weekend, setting up the camp, and taking it all down. Their efforts make everyone fell welcome, cared for and comfortable.
For me, the weekend was a chance for me to rejuvenate my spirit with
good company in a peaceful setting. Thanks to all who shared this
time with me, and thanks to Deb and Scott for planning it.
The Bisexual Privilege
By Stefanie K
About a month before my 19th birthday my world was turned upside down. It was then I first realized I was “different” from others because of my sexuality. Not only was I forced to redefine who I was and how I viewed the world but I soon learned the world would redefine me. It forced me to look at my life in a much more critical way.
When I realized I was attracted to both sexes, the road became even bumpier. The people I confided in had a hard time understanding me, some not even bothering to try. Because of this, I spent the majority of my 20s feeling angry about my sexuality and about myself. I felt like I was on the outside looking in at the “normal” people. They were doing what “normal” people do and enjoying their lives. Why did I have to be different?
As the disenfranchised years rolled along, I started to notice the development of a new phenomenon. I was becoming a little more confident in who I was and the “normal” people seemed to be getting more and more frustrated with their normal lives. Apparently, they had been too busy “keeping up with the Jones’s” to keep up with themselves. Those friends I once confided in started turning to me for advice on their lives, their careers, and even their sexuality. One friend even confessed, “You seem pretty ‘normal,’ all things considered.”
A decade has passed since my sexual roadmap was redrawn. I have now come to realize my sexuality may be one of the most potent gifts I was given. It has granted me a perspective of life I probably would have had a difficult time seeing if I had been born “normal.” It allows me to look at the world with a more critical eye and helps me to separate the things that are important from the things that are not. My gift has also made me a much more resourceful individual. Most other people seem so wrapped up in their proud, semi-isolated lives that it leaves them feeling disconnected from the rest of the world. It leaves them feeling “different.”
Ten years have taught me to consider this perspective to be my bisexual
privilege.
Bi Definition Undaunted by Pridefest Weekend Weather
The second weekend in June was windy, chilly and rainy. This didn’t stop Bi Definition members from meeting up to enjoy the festival.
On Saturday, we quickly abandoned the picnic table idea as the wind whipped the flags around and made putting out handouts impossible Instead, we walked around the Pridefest grounds, having fun enjoying the shows and being bi, out and proud at an event that emphasizes lesbians and gays.
Our Illuminaughty Bisexual Gameshow went well and we even had a decent turn out for the event. Everyone seemed to enjoy the jokes and we were able to answer some questions afterwards.
On Sunday it rained. In fact, just as we started off, it poured.
Bi Definition still had a group of nine dedicated members marching, handing
out Bi hugs and holding up the Bi banner. We were a little
soggy, but the rain subsided quickly and
Bi Definition meets on the first Saturday and third Tuesday of every month at 7:00 P.M. for discussions about specific topics pertaining to bisexuality. All discusions are held at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, Suite 101, 315 W. Court St., Milwaukee, WI .
“How Being Bi Has Changed My Life” will be September’s topic in honor of International Celebrate Bisexuality Day which happens this month. When did you know you were bi and what has changed in your life since that discovery? Perhaps you had several points of discovery instead of just one—how did each of these affect you? What did you learn? Come share your stories, your ideas and your thoughts in September on Sat. 6th and Tues. 16th.
October’s topic will be “What Is Marriage Anyway” and will explore all of the hubbub surrounding recent pending state laws. For years, gays and lesbians have fought for the right to marry. This is a legal issue—but is there more to it than that? Many Christian churches believe there is. With half (or more) of all hetero marriages ending in divorce and more people entering into alternative relationships, has marriage out lived its usefulness? Come explore this complex and emotional issue on Saturday, October 4, and Tuesday, October 21.
We will try to heat November up with the topic “Spicy Films Review.” Sometime before the meeting watch the two films Y Tu Mama Tambien and Two Girls and A Guy and then come to the meeting ready to discuss love, sex, and relationships. Join us for what is bound to be a fun and feisty discussion on Saturday, November 1, and Tuesday, November 18.
In December we will look at the issue of diversity again. What
does it mean to be Bi and Latino? An older adult and lesbian?
Gay and African American? How can we support all of our diversity
within the LGBT community? What things keep us divided? We
will look at these and other questions as we network and meet people from
other LGBT organizations on Saturday, December 6, and Tuesday, December
16 for “Diversity Networking.”
An annual Bi Definition membership includes discreet newsletter mailings and free admittance to all events. Cost of a single gathering for nonmembers is $5. For information on membership rates, call our information line (414) 299-9612. We also ask that you please refrain from wearing scented products at the meetings.
A friend from the Chicago area just told me that the Chicago bisexual group just folded. Again.
In contrast, Bi Definition will be celebrating its eighth anniversary this coming January. Eight years of meetings, parties, furndraisers, organizing and activism.
So, what holds us together where other groups dissovle? I think two main things have kept us going through the years:
Adaptability: We have worked to change Bi Definition as was needed
to meet our evolving membership needs, membership abilities, and our group
finances.
Committment: Bi Definition members have affirmed time and again that
having an organized bi group is important enough to put in the extra time
and money required to keep this group going.
As bisexuals, we are all so different. And everyone has such busy, full lives. We also all share the ideal that our differences should not only be accepted, but should be celebrated.
That’s worth keeping.
Respectfully submitted,
Nikki
For information or confirmation on any Bi Definition event listed,
contact Nikki at (414)299-9612
or write: Bi All Means!/Bi Definition
c/o Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, Suite 101, 315 W. Court St., Milwaukee,
WI 53212 .
Bi Definition socials/discussions are held on the first Saturday
and third Tuesday of each month @ 7:00 p.m.
at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, Suite 101, 315 W. Court
St., Milwaukee, WI 53212 .
September
Sat. 6 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: “How
Being Bi Has Changed My Life” LGBT Community Center, 315 W. Court St.
Tues. 16 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: “How
Being Bi Has Changed My Life” LGBT Community Center, 315 W. Court St.
October
Sat. 4 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: “What
Is Marriage Anyway” LGBT Community Center, 315 W. Court St.
Tues. 21 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: :
“What Is Marriage Anyway” LGBT Community Center, 315 W. Court St.
November
Sat. 1 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: “Spicy
Films Review” LGBT Community Center, 315 W. Court St.
Tues. 18 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: :
“Spicy Films Review” LGBT Community Center, 315 W. Court St.
December
Sat. 6 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: “Diversity
Networking” LGBT Community Center, 315 W. Court St.
Tues. 16 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: :
“Diversity Networking” LGBT Community Center, 315 W. Court St.
