Volume 6, Number
3 (Winter 2001/2002)
ssss Articles
Bi
Definition Turns Six
Calendar
ssssColumns
sssssssNikki's
Notions
sssssssUpcoming
Discussion Topics
Disclaimer
Bi All Means! is a publication of Bi Definition, a bisexual social, support and activist organization in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. BAM is published quarterly and is offered to those on our mailing list on a subscription basis. To subscribe simply fill out this form.
Opinions expressed by writers in BAM are not necessarily those of the editors, publisher, advertisers nor the philosophy of Bi Definition. Any reference made to any individual or organization should not be construed as an indication of the same's orientation.
We reserve the right to edit any submission at our sole discretion.
Those who wish to contribute letters, articles, stories, poems or artwork
are encouraged to do so, and may have their names withheld if so desired.
Please provide text submissions typed double-spaced. Send all submissions
to: Bi All Means!/Bi Definition,
c/o Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, Suite 101, 315 W. Court St., Milwaukee,
WI 53212 ,
or e-mail bidef@hotmail.com
The unauthorized use of the ‘Bi Definition’ name is strictly
prohibited to members and nonmembers alike, except when written permission
is received from the current organizational leadership.
Vision Statement
Bi Definition shall provide a social, support and
activist organizational resource for bisexuals, people who do not like
labels and their allies residing in and visiting metropolitan Milwaukee,
WI. It shall work for equal rights and the liberation of all area bisexuals
and others who refuse strict heterosexual and/or homosexual personal identification.
Bi Definition will also collect and distribute information
on bisexuality.
Governance Statement
In order to insure that all minority opinions are
considered at business meetings, Bi Definition will use the consensus process
of decision making for governing.
This January will mark the sixth year that Bi Definition has been up and running. Members will mark this event at our annual anniversary party. To give the event a personal touch, this year's party will be held at Nikki's new house on Saturday, January 26th beginning at 5 p.m. Dinner and drinks will be provided with entertainment to follow. For more information, call Nikki at (414) 291-4145.
Bi Definition has undergone many changes through the years. The group started as a small support group, which members decided they wanted to keep going. Co-founders Carol and Steve, along with the help of other early members like Joanne and Crystal, established monthly meetings and the Bi All Means! newsletter.
In the beginning, Bi Definition met only on the first Saturday of every month at the Best D Clinic. Early group activities included marching in the Pride parade and parties at member houses. As the group grew, a monthly Tuesday meeting day was added to allow more flexibility and access. Also during this time, the newsletter expanded to twelve pages and added regular columns such as "Straight But Not Narrow," "Rainbow Politics," and the "Sex Kitty" advice piece.
When the group grew too large to fit comfortably at Best D, members decided to rent space at the new LGBT Center. Regular monthly business meetings were established and different members stepped up to take on some of the work of running the growing organization. About this time, Carol turned over the Bi All Means! editorship to Nikki.
During this exciting, expanding time, there were many social group events. We ran our first booth for pay at PrideFest, had the first annual camping trip, Gender Bender parties, rummage sales, group picnics, carpooling to the BECAUSE conferences, and other fun outings (no pun intended). The group continued to march in the Pride Parade, and in 2000 even built and walked with our very own Bisexual float. Newsletter circulation was increased from 1,000 to 1,500, "Rainbow Politics" became "Bisexual Politics," and we very sadly said goodbye to the Sex Kitty.
In the summer of 1998, the group decided to adopt a local bar as the official Bisexual hangout and to establish weekly bar gatherings just for fun. A committee was formed to do "bar research"- the result being that for a year Bi Definition hosted social meetings at Dish every Thursday. (Dish was chosen as a Bisexual Bar after passing the litmus test of a multi-gendered game of spin the bottle.)
Like any growing group, Bi Definition had its share of difficulties. Finding and keeping a finance chair - let alone a whole committee - proved to be a perpetual problem. People who stepped up to fill this roll did an excellent job but they also burned out quickly as the whole of the job fell on one person at a time. We also had our share of communication problems, misunderstandings and hurt feelings-growing pains that happen in any group. But, members pulled together and successfully worked through the hard times.
The past couple of years have found Bi Definition declining many ways. Many of our members split their time between Bi Definition and working on bringing the BECAUSE conference to Milwaukee in 2000. Between this and busy personal lives, many members have had little time to gather together for meetings or for fun. This past summer, Steve turned over all of his varied work for the group and took a much-needed break from activism. In an attempt to stay on top of our meager finances, the group decided this fall to scale back the newsletter to a circulation of 150 and four pages. At this time, the group still does not have a regular or stable finance committee.
Declining numbers at meetings and a lack of regular and reliable funding has left Bi Definition struggling. Last January we had a very well attended crisis meeting. People shared how much the group meant to them, and they stepped forward and volunteered to help. Individuals accepted responsibility for doing many of the different jobs, such as managing the office, keeping the database, keeping on top of the email and the phone line, running the meetings, and more.
We also decided that we needed to have a meeting like this every year, a whole-membership Annual Review Meeting. The 2002 Annual Review Meeting will be held in February. Look for your invitation to this vital meeting in January and please plan to attend.
January (Sat. 5 & Tues. 15): "Bisexual Community"
February (Sat. 2 & Tues. 19): "Bisexual Relationships"
March (Sat. 2 & Tues. 19): "BECAUSE 2002"
April (Sat. 6 & Tues.16): "Let's Talk About Sex!"
Bi Definition meets on the first Saturday and third Tuesday of every month at 7:00 P.M. for discussions about specific topics pertaining to bisexuality. All discusions are held at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, Suite 101, 315 W. Court St., Milwaukee, WI .
What do we expect and value about the bi-sexual community? If organized bisexual community dissolves, what will this mean for us personally? What do we want Bi Definition to be? Join us on Saturday, January 5th and Tuesday, January 15th for discussion on "Bisexual Community."
In February the discussion topic will be "Bisexual Relationships." We will look at the complications that bisexuality adds to dating--when should you bring up your bisexuality? Should you bring up bisexuality on the first date? The third? Once in a committed relationship, how to deal with one person being bisexual? We will be swapping stories, experiences, and strategies for relationship issues on Saturday, February 2nd and Tuesday, February 19th.
"BECAUSE 2002" will be the topic on Saturday, March 2nd and Tuesday, March 19th. Come learn more about the BECAUSE (Bisexual Empowerment Conference: A Uniting Supportive Experience) or come share your experiences of past conferences. Join us as this exciting annual event draws closer.
"Let's Talk About Sex!": The mainstream philosophy about
sex often seems to be, "Have it if you must, but please don't talk about
it!" This philosophy has contributed to unplanned pregnancies, unsafe sex
and a discomfort with sex that can be inhibiting. On Saturday, April 6th
and Tuesday, April 16th, we will talk about sex and sexuality, focusing
on the words we use to describe this important and integral part of our
lives.
An annual Bi Definition membership includes discreet newslatter mailings
and free admittance to all events. Cost of a single gathering for
nonmembers is $5. We also ask that you please refrain from wearing
scented products at the meetings.
For information or confirmation on any Bi Definition event listed,
contact Nikki at (414)299-9612
or write: Bi All Means!/Bi Definition
c/o Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, Suite 101, 315 W. Court St., Milwaukee,
WI 53212 .
Bi Definition socials/discussions are held on the first Saturday
and third Tuesday of each month @ 7:00 p.m.
at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, Suite 101, 315 W. Court
St., Milwaukee, WI 53212 .
January
Sat. 5@ 7 p.m. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Bisexual
Community"
Mon. 7 Bi? Shy? Why? Madison. Info: (608) 255-8582.
Sat. 12 @ 7 p.m. Gemini Gender Group meeting. Info: 297-9328.
Tues. 15 @ 7 p.m. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Bisexual
Community"
Sat. 26 @ 7P.M. Bi Definition's Sixth Anniversary Party. Call
Nikki at 291-4145.
February
Sat 2 @ 7 p.m. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Bisexual
Relationships"
Mon. 4 Bi? Shy? Why? Madison. Info: (608) 255-8582.
Sat. 9 @ 7 p.m. Gemini Gender Group meeting. Info: 297-9328.
Tues. 19 @ 7 p.m. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic:
"Bisexual Relationships"
TBA Bi Definition Annual Review Membership Meeting.
March
Sat. 2 @ 7 p.m. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "BECAUSE
2002"
Mon. 4 Bi? Shy? Why? Madison. Info: (608) 255-8582.
Sat. 9 @ 7 p.m. Gemini Gender Group meeting. Info: 297-9328.
Tues. 19 @ 7 p.m. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "BECAUSE
2002"
April
Mon. 1 Bi? Shy? Why? Madison. Info: (608) 255-8582.
Sat. 6 @ 7 p.m. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Let's
Talk About Sex!"
Sat. 13 @ 7 p.m. Gemini Gender Group meeting. Info: 297-9328.
Tues. 16 @ 7 p.m. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic:"Let's
Talk About Sex!"
Weekly
Wednesdays 7-9 p.m. Bi Definition Office Hours
Nikki's Notions
By Nikki Schlaishunt
Reprinted from RAM! Winter 1999/00 issue
The Words We Choose
"Politically correct" or PC has gotten a bad rap recently and it seems like everyone has unquestioningly jumped on the anti-PC bandwagon. This can be seen in the plethora of ludicrous PC terms that cynical scoffers have spewed out, including "vertically challenged" (short), "residentially challenged" (homeless), and my personal favorite "pharmaceutically gifted" (drug addict). Sure, these are good for a laugh and, being vertically challenged myself, can help us laugh at ourselves. But the anti-PC rhetoric has a mean spirited core.
PC is not a set list of "do" words and "don't" words. Anytime PC is used as a means to censor people and shut down communication-whether done by the far right or the far left - then it is not true PC. PC is about facilitating communication-honest, open and respectful communication. This can't be done by inflexibly setting up some words as "correct" and others as "wrong."
Politically correctness is both simpler and more complex than that; PC is an attitude-being considerate and respectful of others. We must be flexible enough and care enough to ask: How do people want to be addressed? In what way can we use our words to make people feel safe and accepted?
The opposite question can be asked: In what way can we use our words to make people feel attacked and ridiculed? We all know what happens when people feel attacked and ridiculed-broken trust, fragmentation of community, breakdown of communication, and a cycle that can degenerate into hate and end in violence. Think of Columbine High School. Think of Mathew Shepherd.
The far right, one of the most vitriolic sectors when it comes to PC, operates exactly along these lines. They use their words to break trust, fragment community, impede communication, or in other words, to divide and conquer. These things breed hatred and violence that affects all of us- queer and straight, men and women, rich and poor, all races, all religions/beliefs.
There may not be much we can do about violence in our society, or at least there may not be much we can do to make large impacts or changes. We can, however, control what we do and what we say. The words we choose can help make this world a safe and accepting place, or we can choose words that contribute to meanness, violence and hatred. Either way, we have to live here.
PC is easy. Just ask yourself, "Am I choosing these words-out
of respect for others?" If the answer is yes, then you are choosing words
that contribute to peace. Your intent will almost always be noticed and
appreciated, even if your words are not exactly what the other person wanted.
Respectful, caring words can open the door to true communication and pave
the way to real understanding. This is where peace begins.
