Volume
4, Number 3 ( Fall 1999)
ssss Articles
sssssssss New
National Bisexual Group Puts Local Issues First
sssssssssCelebrate
Bisexuality Day Outing Planned
sssssssssBiyond
101 Book Discussion Group
sssssssssBi
Merchandise Fundraising Drive
sssssssssBi
Definition Begins Weekly Bar Social
sssssssssProposed mission
& vision statement for organizational adoption
sssssssssUpcoming
Discussion Topics
ssssCalendar
ssssColumns
sssssssssAsk the
Sex Kitty
sssssssssBi The Editor
sssssssssHow Do
You Feel?
sssssssssNikki's Notions
sssssssssRainbow
Politics: Clear and Simple
sssssssssStraight
But Not Narrow
ssssOdds
and Ends
sssssssss Poetry
A Bit of Bisexual His/Herstory
Vision Statement
Bi Definition shall provide a social, support and
activist organizational resource for bisexuals, people who do not like
labels and their allies residing in and visiting metropolitan Milwaukee,
WI. It shall work for equal rights and the liberation of all area bisexuals
and others who refuse strict heterosexual and/or homosexual personal identification.
Bi Definition will also collect and distribute information
on bisexuality.
Governance Statement
In order to insure that all minority opinions are
considered at business meetings, Bi Definition will use the consensus process
of decision making for governing.
The UWM Gay and Lesbian Film Festival will kick off
their annual series with the Bi-identified film Eileen Is A Spy on Thursday,
September 23, 1999. As this is also the first international Celebrate Bisexuality
Day (CBD), Bi Definition has decided to move the previously planned party
to the film opening. We will gather before the film at the Union at UWM.
The film begins at 7pm, and we will choose a place to go for dinner and
drinks afterwards to continue our celebration of bisexuality.
Besides Eileen, the Film Festival will include two
Bi short films, and one film that defies labeling. Bi short films include
Sleep Come Free Me which will show Saturday, September 25th during the
9pm lesbian short film series, and A Summer Dress which will show during
the 9pm Friday, October 1st gay short film series. Thursday, September
30th at 7pm features Woubi Cheri, a film about queer culture on the Ivory
Coast and provides a very different cultural look at sex and gender.
The festival will also show several transgendered
films: the short Alienator on Friday, September 24th at 7pm and Gendernauts
at 9pm; and Homocore Minneapolis on Thursday, September 30 at 9pm. Gendernauts
includes an appearance by Annie Sprinkle.
If you are interested in the CBD movie party, meet
just outside the movie theater at the Union at UWM (second floor) at 6:45pm.
In response to calls from members for more regular
social outings, Bi Definition decided to plan a weekly gathering at a local
bar. After some research, it was decided that the bar Dish most closely
fits our needs for openness, setting, and diversity. Members reported feeling
accepted and comfortable at Dish.
We will be meeting every Thursday at Dish from 7-9pm.
Come join us for fun and community. Dish is located at 235 S. 2nd, just
down the street from the LGBT Community Center.
October (Sat. 2 & Tues. 19): "Coming Out of Two Closets"
November (Sat. 2 & Tues. 19): "Avoiding Gender Wars"
December (Sat. 2 & Tues. 19): "Bisexuality and Religion"
January (Sat. 8): 4th Anniversary Party
January (Tues. 17) "Bi Definition Past and Future"
Bi Definiton meets on the first Saturday and third Tuesday of every month at 7:00 P.M. for discussions about specific topics pertaining to bisexuality. All discussions are held at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, 170 S. 2nd Street.
As bisexuals, we have to come out to both our straight friends and family and our gay/lesbian friends and family. This situation can be frustrating, funny, tiring, and enlightening. October's topic, "Coming Out of Two Closets" will look at coming out issues unique to bisexuals. Come share your coming out stories in honor of National Coming Out Day (October 11, 1999). October's meeting dates are Saturday October 2nd and Tuesday October 19th.
Bisexuals often enter lesbian and gay social circles
in order to find support for our same-sex attractions and relationships.
Unfortunately, our heterosexual side is not often valued in L/G culture,
nor is our bisexuality respected. How do we make sure we grow in acceptance
and enjoyment of our homosexuality without being pressured into dishonoring
our heterosexuality? This will be a discussion about how to stay positive
about the "opposite" gender while nurturing our feelings for the "same"
gender on Saturday November 6th and Tuesday November 16th.
Has your religion and/or beliefs affected you being
Bi or how you perceive and express being Bi? Has being Bi affected how
you view religion or what religion you choose to practice? If you follow
or once followed a faith that is strongly anti-gay, how do you deal with
the conflicts that arise? If you are not religious, how do you deal with
family and friends that are? Join us on Saturday December 4th and Tuesday
December 21st for discussion on bisexuality and religion.
The first Saturday meeting in January is traditionally
the time when Bi Definition has its anniversary party. This year, we have
moved the Saturday meeting for January from the first Saturday to the second-January
8, 2000. Bi Definition members this year have risen to the many different
challenges that changes have brought. They have come through with hard
work, patience and commitment enabling Bi Definition to grow both in numbers
and in strength. Come help us celebrate Bi Definition's fourth anniversary
with food, fun, entertainment, and community on Saturday January 8th.
Tuesday January 17th the discussion topic will be
"Bi Definition Past and Future" and will give members a chance to look
back on the past year. We will look at the changes that have occurred,
noting what worked and what didn't. Everyone will be encourage to bring
a Bi Definition memory to share, and will also be challenged to think about
the future of bisexual community in the Milwaukee area.
An annual Bi Definition membership includes discreet
newsletter mailings and free admittance to all
events. Cost of a single gathering for nonmembers is $5. For information
on yearly membership rates inquire at a meeting. We also ask that you please
refrain from wearing scented products at the meetings.
For information or confirmation on any Bi Definition event listed,
contact Nikki at (414)774-5055
or write: Bi All Means!, C/O LGBT Center, 170 S. 2nd Street, Milwaukee,
WI 53204.
Bi Definition socials/discussions are held on the first Saturday
and third Tuesday of each month @ 7:00 p.m.
at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, 170 S. 2nd Street.
October
Sat. 2 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Coming
Out of
Two Closets." LGBT Community Center, 170 S. 2nd St.
Mon. 4 Bi? Shy? Why? Madison. Info: (608) 257-5538.
Sat. 9 @ 7 P.M. Gemini Gender Group meeting. Info: 297-9328.
Oct 11 National Coming Out Day
Tues. 19 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Coming
Out of
Two Closets." LGBT Community Center, 170 S. 2nd St.
November
Mon. 1 Bi? Shy? Why? Madison. Info: (608) 257-5538.
Sat. 6 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Avoiding
Gender Wars" LGBT Community Center, 170 S. 2nd St.
Sat. 13 @ 7 P.M. Gemini Gender Group meeting. Info: 297-9328.
Tues. 16 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Avoiding
Gender Wars" LGBT Community Center, 170 S. 2nd St.
December
Sat. 4 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Bisexuality
and Religion." LGBT Community Center, 170 S. 2nd St.
Mon. 6 Bi? Shy? Why? Madison. Info: (608) 257-5538.
Sat. 11 @ 7 P.M. Gemini Gender Group meeting. Info: 297-9328.
Tues. 21 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Bisexuality
and Religion." LGBT Community Center, 170 S. 2nd St.
January
Sat. 8 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Fourth Anniversary Party.
LGBT Community Center, 170 S. 2nd St.
Sat. 8 @ 7 P.M. Gemini Gender Group meeting. Info: 297-9328.
Tues. 18 @ 7 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Bi
Definition Past & Future." LGBT Community Center, 170 S. 2nd St.
Weekly
Thursdays 7-9 P.M. Bi Definition Bar Social, Dish,
235 S. 2nd St.
Mondays Oct. 4 - Nov. 29 Biyond 101, LGBT Community Center,
170 S. 2nd St.
By pulling together in community, bisexuals are
able to address the issue of invisibility that all bisexuals live with;
everyone assumes our sexual identities match who we are partnered with.
Bisexual community gives us a place to belong, a place for support, and
a place to be openly and proudly out as Bi.
A more cohesive bisexual community also allows us
a way in which to participate in and support the larger LGBT community
while identifying as bisexual. In this way we are better able to counter
bisexual myths and stereotypes. Ignorance divides. It divides lesbian/gay
from bisexual and transgender, and it divides all queers from the straight
community. As a community we can better educate those around us.
This summer has been full of bisexual community
planning and building for Bi Definition. We had a rummage sale, hosted
a camping trip, ran a booth at Pridefest, researched and settled on a bar
for weekly gatherings, and instituted monthly business meetings. In addition,
the regular monthly meetings have been expanded to encompass social time;
meetings will now end with time to mingle and talk from 9 to 9:45, with
members volunteering to bring snacks and drinks to share on a rotating
basis.
How do we build bisexual community? We gather, we
talk, we exchange ideas, we support each other, we have fun. Come to Dish
for the Thursday social (7-9pm) and help us continue to build bisexual
community!
Bi for now
Nikki
The following column is designed to help those who have a desire to make a difference for the Les/Bi/Gay/Trans community without getting bogged down, bored or confused, which is often associated with the world of politics.
Bisexuality and the Truth of Feminism
Webster's Dictionary defines feminism as, "A doctrine
advocating social, political and economic rights for women equal to those
of men." That's it-simple equality. Any rational person has to agree that
all of us should be treated as equals. And because bisexuality is fundamentally
about equality and freedom, I believe that all bisexuals regardless of
gender, should be feminists.
Anti-feminists such as Laura Schlesinger and the
Promise Keepers, regularly try to cloud the simplicity and justness of
feminism by spinning it to attempt to justify their pro-patriarchal rhetoric.
In her July 7, 1999 Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel convoluted
column titled "Feminism teaches men to love 'em and leave 'em" Schlesinger
uses her alarmist, misinformed propaganda to try to scare readers away
from feminism. She whines that, "Women are no longer bound by social rules
that say, 'nice girls don't.' Women are entitled to their own sexual experience
and pleasure. Throw the birth control pill in that mix, and women can have
multiple sexual experiences without pretense or hope of caring and intimacy."
The obvious question is: What's wrong with women having these same choices
as men? Isn't it unfair that men who have these experiences are thought
of as studs, but women are called sluts? And just exactly why is it that
"there is no hope of caring and intimacy" if one happens to choose to have
multiple intimate partners? Only a self-righteous person with tunnel vision
would see this as a necessary oxymoron. At different times in different
people's lives, different things may be desired.
Schlesinger further bizarrely misconstrues that,
"Feminism has taught men that women are readily available for sex, no longer
demanding that it be paired with love, marriage or parenthood." She continues
blabbering that, "Men further learned that the burden of producing and
terminating life is fully on the woman's shoulders." Absolute nonsense.
Men who truly understand that feminism is about equality, know that women
are people to be respected, not just sexual objects to discard when finished.
I, the male author of this article, and all men who truly understand the
very simple principle of feminism were taught equality of women because
of feminism. It is those who don't get it who are the barbarians she describes.
Once we know that Schlesinger is an extremely conservative
Orthodox Jew, it's not difficult to see that her problem clearly understanding
individuality, freedom and equality is due to her religious/political dogma.
This explains why she twists feminist icon, Gloria Steinem's famous quote,
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." She uses the quote,
knowing that it may sound on the surface as anti-male, and lesbian-separatist.
But the fact of the matter is that women shouldn't need a man any more
than a man should need a woman in order to live happy lives. We can desire
a partner to enhance our lives, but it is unhealthy to need someone in
order to feel like a worthwhile person. Women who believe that they need
a man to feel fully like a woman, are often the ones who remain in physically
abusive relationships.
If feminism is unnecessary, then after all of these
years why haven't we had a female president? Why do men often still get
jobs, when an equally qualified or better woman doesn't? How come equally
capable women get paid, on average, just seventy percent of what men earn?
Why is it taken for granted by society that when women and men marry, she
is to take his last name? The answer to these and many other questions
is continued institutionalized patriarchy.
Feminism has been given an unfair, bad name in recent
years by extreme social conservatives, proud of being "politically incorrect."
This is due in part to people not understanding feminism's fundamental
core definition of simple equality. But it is also because of many men's
fear of giving up our ill-gotten privileges. However, men who advocate
equality for women aren't becoming less of a man, we are becoming better
human beings.
Much of the increased visibility and advances of
bisexuality is due in large part to the modern-day bisexual political movement,
which was primarily started by women and feminist men. The first national
bisexual organization had the word feminist in its title, which was/is
backed up in its mission statement. Almost all Bi groups across the country
are organized by women, and every current bisexual activist that I know
of abides by feminist principles. Even the president of the country's largest
feminist organization, Patricia Ireland of the National Organization for
Women, has both female and male lifetime partners.
This is why I see bisexuality and feminism as inextricably
linked and anti-feminism attacks as misguided.
Memories-old familiar friends that can blossom with
new unrealized potential when seen through new eyes. Like the question,
what was the most romantic date you ever had? It brings a different answer
to me now . . .
The first time Jen invited me out to meet her horse
Mariah, I was so excited! I'd been dying for her to ask me. It was one
of the main things that had drawn me to her in the beginning-she had a
horse. I spent months on the fringe of her group, listening with quiet
longing to their talk of horses: hackamores, posting techniques, thrush,
lunge lines. It all sounded so exotic and yet so mundane. Cowgirls! Real
cowgirls! I was thrilled. I knew I'd never be able to have a horse of my
own. They were too expensive to keep up, even if I could afford the purchase
price (which I could not). But if I had friends who had horses, well that
would be almost as good.
I tagged along at lunch or between classes, wherever
they gathered, this group of horse girls. In my extreme ignorance, I had
nothing to add to the conversation, and I was too embarrassed of my ignorance
to ask questions. So I sat near them and quietly listened.
It was my friend Peggy (who had almost no interest
in horses) who finally got me "in." Jen invited her out to The Ranch, a
place the horse girls worked at twice a week. Peggy and I were buddies
and she magnanimously included me in the invitation even though I had not
specifically been invited. Peggy never bothered with 'proper' protocol
unless it suited her. All that mattered to her was that she wanted me to
go-so I went.
I don't think Jen had ever really noticed me much
until then. I was just the quiet girl who tagged along, the one who got
school lunches and so often had french-fries to share. But she noticed
Peggy. I'm sure she was attracted to Peggy for the same reasons I was.
Peggy was wild. She was witty and loud. She dressed in on-the-edge fashion.
She knew how to flirt with boys in a self-confident manner; she never played
coy or shy. She laughed and joked with them in a straightforward way that
I longed to learn.
So I know why Jen invited Peggy to The Ranch. It
didn't matter. As we drove up to The Ranch, my excitement rose up leaving
no room for shyness.
"Jen, do you clean out everything?" For the first
time, I stood in a real horse stall, with real horse poop.
"Just clean out the dirty stuff. But look," she
used her shovel to pull back the fluffy top layer of sawdust, revealing
a soggy pee-soaked under layer. "You have to dig out this stuff too. Oh,
and use the pitchforks for the poops, and the shovels for this stuff."
"OK," I said. "Hey, do we really get to ride after
this?"
"Sure. We should have plenty of time to groom, saddle
and ride too."
"I've never done any of that3/4will you teach me
how?"
"I'd love to!" She smiled at me, and I smiled back.
Still, it took another couple of months before she
asked me out to Mariah's. It was summer and we didn't have the daily contact
of school to bring us together. I did start going to The Ranch regularly
and I got to see her twice a week that way. Slowly I gained acceptance,
and when high school started in the fall I was finally a part of the group
and not just a spectator.
I remember the day Jen asked me to Mariah's. We
were at lunch when I said something about never having met her. She was
astonished. She often had three or four people out at Mariah's with her.
She couldn't believe I'd never gone.
"You've never invited me." I said.
She rolled her eyes. "You should have just asked
me! What are you doing tomorrow after school? Let's go out then-just you
and me."
Just the two of us-no one else! As I said, usually
there was a group at Mariah's. And there was always a group at school.
This would be the first time I would have Jen all to myself. I couldn't
stop grinning.
It was a gray day. Cool autumn, but not cold. Light
jacket weather. Jen and I rode our bikes out to the barn where Mariah lived.
More a collection of little pens, really-nothing like The Ranch.
I was nervous about meeting Mariah. What if she
didn't like me? What if I said or did something stupid?
"Here," said Jen, "hold this." She handed me a green halter and rope
and picked up her grooming box. We headed over to Mariah's pen.
"Go ahead and put the halter on her. Just put it
under her nose and then pull up."
"How do I get it over her neck?" I asked. I had
the bottom part on her nose, but Mariah was nodding her head.
"Hold still, Mariah. Just put your arms up over
her neck. Exactly! You've got it! Now buckle it." She tied Mariah to the
fence and scratched her whithers.
I picked out a stiff brush and started on her neck.
Mariah snorted and shook her head. Jen laughed.
"She really likes you."
We brushed Mariah together. I put my head down on
her warm chest. Her heart beat gently under my cheek. Her soft warm nose
snuffled me, nostrils wide. I could feel prickly horsehair under my palms.
My nose filled with the scents of sawdust, dirt, hay and horse.
Jen would have let me ride Mariah, but it started
to rain. I was a little disappointed, but also a bit relieved. I was afraid
of looking like an idiot, since I hardly knew how to ride yet.
Jen took me into the hay shed and spread out a horse
blanket on the bales. She had brought an apple to eat and she shared that
with me. We took turns taking bites out of the crunchy green apple-sour-sweet,
juicy. We were still hungry so she taught me to eat horse grain. A little
rough, but satisfying. We sat close because the blanket was small. We talked
and laughed and shared moments of companionable silence, content to listen
to the rain on the aluminum roof. The smell of damp hay. The warmth of
our bodies shielding out the coolness of the day. I felt peaceful and safe,
as if I had known her forever.
I don't remember it ending. That moment still lives
on in my mind. The sights, sounds, smells and tastes. The mixed feelings
of exhilarating joy and soul enveloping peace.
I remember another ideal afternoon with Jen, a year
later, when I could no longer completely deny or ignore the nature of our
relationship. We had just spent time cleaning the stalls at Mariah's. It
was summer. Warm, but not hot. Blue sky, soft breeze, beautiful sunshine.
We were young and free. Completely alive. Completely together. We were
walking home, hand in hand, talking with such ease. The conversation flowed
almost as if we were pieces of the same person, overlapping, complementing.
We were happy. Innocent and entirely real.
I think it was because we were getting close to
the high school (the way home passed by it) but, out of nowhere, I became
abruptly conscious of holding Jen's hand. It was as if I'd been ripped
out of my body so I could see and judge us from without. I felt a sudden
stab of fear. For a moment I tried to drop Jen's hand, almost in a panic.
But she wouldn't let go. She didn't say anything. She just smiled at me,
then looked straight ahead and kept walking-confident, defiant. Looking
at her, feeling her strength, I let all that fear go. Just like that. And
the day was back to the way it had been-perfect. Soft sunlight, warm breeze,
limitless blue sky.
These memories are like breadcrumbs, leading me
back to my true self. I have opened up to a whole different world of possibilities;
I have set free these memories, and they, in turn, have freed me. Within
these memories I have found the sustenance I need to begin again. This
time from a place of truth, not a place of fear.
A recent article in BAM by the editor got me to thinking
about how other perceive you and how you perceive yourself.
In the article, there was some self-criticism for
allowing oneself to capitulate to the norms of society and think that a
woman who was dressed in an unusual fashion would be thought to have not
much fashion sense.
Specifically, there was mention that the woman should know better than
to wear that type of dress especially since she did not have the figure
to be wearing the dress. Others may look at her and see something different.
She perceives herself as able to wear the dress or does not care what others
think about her "looks".
This is the crux of this article. What we see of ourselves, what others
see of us, and what is reality. Humans, admittedly are social animals.
We develop friendships and relationships and extended families so that
we can interact and mingle on a social basis.
Most of the time, those people we associate with
are like-thinking individuals. We do this because we as humans like to
think we are right; surrounding ourselves with others who think like us
helps to confirm the pseudo image that what we do, how we think and how
we act is acceptable.
Sometimes, this includes negative connotations.
Others who we admit into the friendship circle are not exactly like us.
They have different opinions, different ways of looking at things and different
habits. We accept these differences and, for the most part, deal with them.
Sometimes to the extent that we allow ourselves to think like our friends
think-mainly so they will continue to be our friends.
Finding friends is hard. That is why a lot of us
do things we would not dream possible just to keep a friend or a group
of people who will accept us as we are.
But do they really? I think not. Others always see
you differently than you see yourself. It may be that those friends accept
you only because there is something you have that they want. Or, that you
will do things that they are afraid to do.
Face reality. The woman in the dress that did not
fit her sees herself as thin. We see her as not as thin as she would like
to believe. I would say that it is natural and even O. K. to think something
of another without chastising yourself for thinking like that.
Reprinted from the UWM Post with permission from the author.
Whoo Hoo! Bisexuals rule! Um, okay, that's enough
of that.
But the fact is--if you go strictly by the numbers--Bisexuals
do rule, by a wide margin.
Dr. Alfred Kinsey and his associates are probably
most often recognized as the people who brought us the information that--at
any given time--10% of the population is Gay.
This number comes from two famous studies conducted
by Kinsey--"Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" and "Sexual Behavior in
the Human Female"--which were completed in 1948 and 1953, respectively.
The emblematic "10%"statistic has figured prominently
in many Lesbian and Gay symbols, campaigns, and publications. However--as
interesting as this number may be in its isolated context of popular usage
and culture-it is actually less interesting than the original context it
is drawn from. The rest of Kinsey's data revealed that--while at any given
time 10% of the population is Gay-at any given time, only 10% of the population
is actually Straight.
Within the context of Kinsey's work these separate
tenths were defined as exclusively homosexual and exclusively heterosexual.
The remainder of the population--80%, as some of the math majors may have
ciphered out-were found to be Bisexual, at least to some degree.
Many of you have probably had occasion to consider
how you or your mate rate on a scale or "1" to "10." The odds are good
that if you have ever considered how you or your mate might rate on a scale
of "1" to "6" that you are already acquainted with the "Kinsey Scale" which
was developed in order to more accurately describe the complex sexual realities
that Kinsey and his associates encountered. It began as a simple seven
point continuum--six indicating a man or woman who was as Gay as a Christmas
tree, zero indicating a man or woman who was a Mormon evangelist.
"1"s and "5"s--while they might have had an idle
curiosity about how the other half (or more accurately, the other tenth)
lived--were for all intents and purposes "Gay" and "Straight" respectively.
So--with the "0"s and the "1"s as the visiting team,
and the "5"s and "6"s with the homecourt advantage--that left the "2"s,
"3"s, and "4"s as the 80% in the stands (albeit generally rooting for one
side or the other).
From this information--reading between the lines--it is possible to
divine that most of the "80%" do evince a preference for either one gender
or the other.
And certainly, it is the commonest of common knowledge
that most of Kinsey's "Bisexuals" do not identify as such, but instead
self-identify as either "Gay," "Straight," or some creative and/or politically
motivated variation thereof.
Self-identified (and, of course, morally superior)
"3"s are comparatively rare at this point in time. I think the question
is begged: If 80% of us are--at least--capable of romantic and sexual feeling
for either or both genders, why then do most people eliminate half their
options along the "line" of male and female?
Though I am-more or less-full of shi...um, myself,
I am not so full that I would presume to try and answer the question I
ask. It goes without saying-that like paper v. plastic, or whether to tell
people you regularly finish off 2lb boxes of assorted chocolates all by
yourself-sexual orientation is an intensely personal decision.
Still, I have to wonder-out loud-what it would be
like if we lived in a society-in a world-in which really pertinent questions
such as--Who are you? What do you want out of life? Are you a kisser or
a toucher? Is that your real hair?--were given more weight in making potential
mates.
As a perfect 3 (if not a perfect 10)--unlike most
deviants--I am fully prepared to admit that I actively recruit from the
Straight population (though, as far as I know, with some determination
and a little help from my friends, in theory, I would be able to reproduce
in the traditional fashion). I also recruit from the Gay population. (But
I want to keep that under my hat for now because I'm hoping that that first
admission will ingratiate me with Pat Robertson so I can be on his show
like Tinky Winky).
My ultimate evil plan? Happy, snappy, morally superior
type beings. If the majority of us identified as Bisexual-even if it was
only "true" to a very limited degree, who would be left to pick on? I think
that it's worth thinking about.
Well, well my little cherubs... the dog days of summer are quickly
evaporating. Thank god for that because Kitty just can't stand to sweat.
Before it's all over, try to get in one hot hump for me!
Dear Sex Kitty,
My friends and I got into a discussion about people who have a shoe
fetish and we were wondering--what do they do with the shoes?
Signed,
Kink Confused
Dear Kink Confused,
Well, first they insert the heel rectally, then with a few twists and
turns, wha-la... it becomes a big butt plug! How the hell am I supposed
to know? You look at me as some almighty sex god when alas I'm just the
Kitty. In order to write this column, I must do hours upon hours of endless
research. Do you think I like to go to porn store after porn store, disgusting
web site after disgusting web site, gay bar after gay bar? DO YOU THINK
ALL THIS RESEARCH IS FUN???
Oh... excuse me for a minute........................... Sorry, just
had to blow off a little steam. Okay, so Kitty hasn't had any booty in
a while and is a little cranky....
Well, the butt plug scenario isn't that far off. Anything you can imagine
to do with a shoe, people do. Most commonly, shoe fetishers are just turned
on by the sight of the shoe but some people like to be stepped on by the
shoe or they might like to lick the shoe or drink out of the shoe or cum
in the shoe. So many options...so little time. And isn't that why we are
Biiiiiiiisexauls?
Dear Sex Kitty,
What is a "circuit boy"? Is it the same thing as a slut, or is it Mr.
Popularity?
Signed,
Flo Fluid
Dear Flo Fluid,
You mean those hairless, well-tanned, exceedingly buff, fine creatures
that bump and grind into the California night? Ever been to a circuit party
where 2,000 of these lovely, lanky, sweaty men are rubbing up and down
on you? Can you feel the night breeze beat against your backside (or was
that my date)? Ahhh... now I'm sure that circuit boys don't just reside
in LA but, I have to say, that's where I found the largest number of these
adorable and well-hung men.
As for the slut/popularity question, aren't they the same thing? Honey,
whenever I've opened my cheeks wide, I get more and more friends!
Dear Sex Kitty,
I was recently at a drag show and locked tongues with one of the queens.
There was no mouth contact, we just touched tongues. I told this to one
of my friends and she said I could get AIDS that way. Is this true?
Signed,
Lightly Licked
Dear Lightly Licked,
Honey, where the hell have you been for the last decade? Locked in
some basement, or sequestered in some cave? Has the barrage of AIDS prevention
and education somehow missed your little scrawny brain? So . . . . you
come to the Kitty. According to the Center for Disease Control, you can
only contract AIDS from blood, semen, vaginal fluid or breast milk. Saliva
contains a miniscule amount of the virus. You would have to ingest like
a swimming pool's worth for it to do any harm. Unless said Drag Queen had
a Big old, open, pus-oozing sore on her tongue, I think you are safe.
If paranoia is getting the best of you and you frequent the gay bars,
Milwaukee AIDS Project has a lovely outreach coordinator, who will confirm
what I have told you and will give you a free AIDS test in the bar. Last
I knew he had a steady but... (well, I would be just catty if I went any
further). So, go get the AIDS test and you will feel much better. Then
tell your little girly-girl friend to read up, too.
Suck one down for me!
Sex Kitty
Hi, my name is Brenda. I have been involved with
Bi Definition for about two years. This group has meant a lot to me personally
and I hope to share why it has meant a lot to me. I will also provide updates
from the Bi Definition Fundraising Committee. This will include reports
on completed activities and plans for future activities. From time to time
I will also share some transgender tid-Bits ("T-Bits") that I feel are
meaningful to the Bi community.
When I volunteered for the fund raising committee
at the beginning of 1999,I was a Bit apprehensive about having time myself
and also how other members would step forward to help. This was a major
commitment to raise enough money to ensure we would stay at the center.
I have been involved with some volunteer efforts with several other local
LGBT groups and have been somewhat frustrated at times when people would
not step forward to help in those efforts. I really feel everyone should
try to "put something back in" in return for the help they have received.
In my heart I felt this would be different, and
I am pleased to say that it was even better than I expected (and I tend
to be a Bit optimistic, perhaps too optimistic). Earlier this year, I was
struggling with some personal issues and was really worried about our first
fund raising effort. Carol stepped forward and with several others and
organized our first activity, a rummage sale at West Allis "Trash and Treasures".
Our total cost was less than $10 and we raised over $100. Equally important,
a large group of people showed up to help and everyone had a fun time.
After our first event, I was more at peace that things were going to be
OK with future fund raising events.
The second event, Bi Definition staffing the Pridefest
merchandise booth was even more of a success than our first event. When
I committed our group to doing the booth, we only had about 8 of the 16
required people. By Pridefest time we had all 16 and we even had several
back-up people. I really wanted our group to make a good impression. Things
went very smoothly and all shifts were covered. By the end of Friday, it
was clear that things were going well and everyone was really enjoying
helping out. At times, people from earlier shifts would return help a little
extra, and the booth became an unofficial meeting place for all Bi Definition
members.
I feel we met all our goals and more. We raised
$320 ($250 for helping at the booth, plus $70 for the Pridefest ad). We
had a lot of fun working the booth and also increased the visibility of
Bi Definition. By Sunday, I was feeling very proud of our group (after
all it is Pridefest) and any worry about future events was gone.
That Sunday evening was spent in what is becoming
an annual Bi Definition event-watching the Sunday night drag show together.
I had the pleasure of spending the evening with Bi Definition members enjoying
a really great show. Please try to join us next year.
Future activities include a fall talent show and
a fall rummage sale at Carl's place. Details will be provided at Bi Definition
meetings. I hope the above will show a "Bit" why Bi Definition is special
to me and many other members.
Until next time, take care and be kind to others.
Brenda
What is the best thing about being Bisexual?
I have twice the chance of getting a date and I have lots of opportunities
in the sex industry.
Crystal Klinger
Milwaukee
Ever since that I have come out as being bisexual, a big part of my
heart and the best part of myself has come out as well.
The people that I have met, and come to love as my friends have been
one of the most unexpected and beautiful things about being bisexual.
Nadine Steidl
Oak Creek
Positive things have always been difficult for me to dwell on. Blame
it on my upbringing. Being Bi for me means being proud, being unique, being
an individual instead of being in a mob. The best part about being bisexual
for me is that I know in my own little way I'm different. I'm unique. I
can have my own say in a huge massive world/USA. Every individual is vital.
God bless diversity. Stand tall. Stand proud!
Marco A. Bors
West Allis
Next issue's question is:
What is your most romantic scenario?
A Bit of Bisexual His/Herstory
Winter 1991 - The Bay Area Bisexual Network begins publishing the first and only national bisexual quarterly magazine, Anything That Moves: Beyond The Myths of Bisexuality.
- BiNet USA
Back to the Contents
The following poem was a group effort created at a June Bi Definition movie party:
There once was a lady from Gorsett
Who got herself stuck in a corsette
She laced up her stays
In the worst possible ways
but her boobs wouldn't fit. so she forced it.
