Bi Definition meets on the first Saturday and third Tuesday of every month at 7:00 p.m. at the BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady St. for discussions about specific topics pertaining to bisexuality.   A talk about “Bisexual Pride” seems fitting for the month in which Pridefest is held. On Saturday, August 1, and Tuesday, August 18, we will talk about achieving pride as a bisexual and whether there are differences between the road to bisexual pride and gay/lesbian pride. How can we take our bi pride to a higher level? Is sexual orientation even something to be “proud” of, or is it simply something over which we have no choice?   “Bisexual Marriage Issues” will take center stage on Saturday, September 5, and Tuesday, September 15. Many bisexuals are married, have been in the past, or would consider it. Are the obstacles to a happy marriage greater for bisexuals than heterosexuals? How can one honor a commitment to a single-sexed partner and to one’s bisexuality at the same time? Come and discuss these and other issues when one or more partners in a marriage happen to be bi.   In step with National Coming Out Day on October 11, Bi Definition will gather on Saturday, October 3, and Tuesday, October 20, to discuss being more open and honest about our bisexuality. Being closeted is stressful, hampers self esteem, and helps allow biprejudice to go unchallenged. The goal of discussing “Coming Out Issues” will be to help and encourage bisexual pride and visibility for those in attendance.   An annual Bi Definition membership, which includes discreet newsletter mailings, free admittance to all bi events at BestD Clinic and membership in the Midwestern Bisexual Alliance and BiNet USA, is just $15 per year or $5 for a single gathering. In case of extreme financial hardship, an exchange of a service donation can be arranged for attendance.

I look good naked, do you? Bisexual male, average height, skinny, late 30's, sensuous. I desire romance and candle-lit dinners (which I can provide). I long for loyalty, intelligence and passion from a slender, N/S lover, and offer you the same. Women preferred, possible LTR. #1005   Africentric BiBM, 5’11", 275#, spiritual, intellectual, boy-masculine encourager, with wide range of interests, seeking to surrender control to a similar G/BiBM, 30-50, over 6', 275-325# gainer (preferred), hirsute and Daddy-masculine, who’ll take charge for mentoring, friendship, movies, conversation, comfort, and company—and more? #1004   BiWM, 39, 5'10", 130 lbs. Teacher, gardener, photographer, trumpet player, science fiction/fantasy reader. Looking for slim woman, N/S, intelligent, cute, and passionate with similar interests. #1002   Is this your womyn? Very attractive, feminine, Lesbian-identified, pre-op MTFTS, 21, 5'8", 120 lb., wear expressive clothing in public, into leather, Madonna, Xena, Melissa Etheridge, and everything Queer-related. Involved w/LGBT and feminist organizations. Seeking LTR with G/Bi female or attractive MTF or FTM TS, 21-31, 5'6" or taller, butch/femme unimportant. Smoker OK. No drugs or games. #1001

July Sat. 18. @ 1:00 - 7:00 P.M. MAGIC Picnic. Brittingham Park, Madison. Tues. 21 @ 7:00 P.M.Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: “Living Bisexually Ever After.” BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady St.   August Sat. 1 @ 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Bi Pride." BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady. Sat. 8 @ 7:00 P.M. Gemini Gender Group Meeting. Unitarian Universalist West, Brookfield. Info: 297-9328. Sat. 22. and Sun. 23 @ 9:00 A.M. - 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Garage Sale. Fri. 28 - Sun.30.Pridefest. Summerfest Grounds. 272-FEST.   September Sat. 5 @ 7:00 P.M.Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: "Bisexual Marriage Issues." BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady. Sat. 12 @ 7:00 P.M.Gemini Gender Group Meeting. Unitarian Universalist West, Brookfield. Info: 297-9328. Tues. 15 @ 7:00 P.M.Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: “Bisexual Marriage Issues." BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady St. Sun. 20. AIDS Walk Wisconsin. Summerfest Grounds. Info: 1-800-348-WALK.   October Sat. 3 @ 7:00 P.M.Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: “Coming Out as Bisexual.” BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady. Sat. 10 @ 7:00 P.M.Gemini Gender Group Meeting. Unitarian Universalist West, Brookfield. Info: 297-9328. Sun. 11.National Coming Out Day. Tues. 20 @ 7:00 P.M. Bi Definition Social/Discussion. Topic: “Coming Out as Bisexual.” BestD Clinic, 1240 E. Brady St.

Dear Sex Kitty,   What is the reliability percentage of the average condom? sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSigned, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSafe, not Sorry   Dear Safe, not Sorry,   Okay, do I look like a statistician? Is there a Ph.D. (Phallic horny Dalliances...maybe) behind Kitty? I don’t think so! And what, my friend, are you trying to prevent? Obviously, abstinence is the best policy against pregnancy all the way to AIDS. But I’m not a policy-maker. And abstinence is so hard. I mean...I have needs. Please!   But if you must have numbers, as far as this Kitty can count, condoms are 88% effective. So there.   __________   Dear Sex Kitty,   My question is in regard to avoiding a possibly uncomfortable situation for both a potential partner and myself. While most people in this country are circumsized, I know that some aren’t. The problem is that I find uncircumsized penises unappealing. Other than bluntly asking him (or a her with a penis), is there a way that I can know before “coming to blows”? sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSigned, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssHeads Up!   Dear Heads Up,   (Kudos to your clever writing--the Kitty is impressed.) Other than having potential sexual candidates fill out a questionnaire, I think you’re out of luck on this one. Rather than asking him or her his sign, how about, “Are you circumsized, big boy?” or “Can I cum on your circumcision?” or “What size is that circumsized penis of yours?” I could size up some more options, but I think I’ve cum up with enough already!   __________   Dear Sex Kitty,   I recently had an orgasm unlike any I’ve ever had before. The pleasure seemed to channel through my clitoris, circumventing the usual uterine contractions and other bodily expressions. Afterward, I felt very relaxed and no longer sexually driven, which told me that this was a climactic experience. Have you ever heard of this? sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssSigned, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssTranscendentally Tittillated   Dear T.T.,   Well, at least someone around here is getting some! During my scientific trials (HA!), I found out that you are not alone. With female orgasms being as varied as they are, hey...anything goes (no, I’m not Jason Alexander and I won’t start singing show tunes, no matter how hard you beg). Fully clitoral orgasms are not unusual, just wonderful!   __________

Thanks to Christopher and Tim, Bi Definition members had a number of social opportunities during the past quarter. Christopher once again graciously opened his home for a couple of movie parties and was instrumental in planning a camping trip to Mauthe Lake. Tim hosted a barbeque with outdoor movies, which attracted 17 people. Thanks again, guys, for taking the lead in organizing these super events!   Our scheduled meetings have been regularly attended by eight to twelve people. The record was broken, however, when a recent discussion about polyamory drew an SRO crowd of at least 25.   In the Twin Cities, the Bisexual Empowerment Conference (BECAUSE) was again very fun, supportive and inspirational. This past year’s metro Milwaukee participants strongly recommend this conference in ’99 to those who haven’t been able to attend in the past.   More “thank you’s” are in order for other Bi Definition members. Kristi has stepped down as both the organization’s treasurer and member of our Quick Response Team because of her busy schedule. We thank her for her time and energy and wish her the best in her new endeavors. Also appreciated is Joanne’s help before Nikki Schlaishunt stepped in to take Kristi’s place. We feel very confident in Nikki’s abilities and are very fortunate to have her.   We hope to see you our many upcoming events.   Bi for now, Carol and Steve

I choose based on the quality of the stimulus in front of me. If a hot, sexy man who finds me attractive happens to come my way , I choose a man. If an attractive woman seems interested, I go with a female. Why do you ask?   sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssChristopher sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssMilwaukee   The short answer I usually give is “It depends entirely on the person,” if we relate and are mutually attracted. In reality, I go through phases when I am more drawn to one sex or the other. This usually depends upon the last person that was “significant” in my life and whether it was a good or bad experience. In general, I “choose” anyone who chooses me and makes me smile.   sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssTim K. sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssMilwaukee   I would say, “By asking this, you are assuming that I feel the need to choose. I do not: I feel the need to get close to both women and men. If you are saying that you need me to choose, then I don’t see how I could get very close to you.”   sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssS.S.W. sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssMilwaukee

Did you ever read Ursula Le Guin's Earth Sea Trilogy? In those books, a name was a magical tool, and naming--speaking the name out loud--was power. This is not fantasy; it is reality.   For example, if I am angry at someone and I do not name it, if I do not speak it out loud, it grows obscure and disproportionate. But when I stop and speak the works, “I am angry,” I give anger shape and form and dimension. I claim the power of words and make them work for me rather than letting that power work on me.   When I first named my bisexuality, I did so only in my head; I named it in silence. I released the power, but did not claim that power. Unspoken, it grew distorted. It manifested as restlessness, and grew into anxiety. It interrupted my sleep, altered my appetite and decreased my ability to focus on tasks at hand. My life felt out of balance, but I only dimly related this to the word bisexuality--a word I had not spoken.   One sleepless night, I was up pacing, all alone. I stopped and I spoke the words, “I am bisexual.” In an instant I felt focused, and the words poured out of me. I told the empty room all that I longed to speak of with others. I spoke my truth. When I finished, I found that I could sleep.   I released the words into the night air, but there was no one there to hear them, to help give them shape and meaning. There was no one there to make the words concrete, so they shifted back into shapelessness overnight. I needed to speak, but I also needed to be heard.   Naming this truth to another proved an incredible challenge. The injunction against speaking these words was so firm and deep that I found myself opening my mouth, but no words would come out. After several aborted attempts, I used written words to build a bridge to others who met me half way and let me finally speak my truth out loud, person to person.   Speaking these words was power. Naming my truth to another and being heard was validation¾the words became real, concrete. Sharing this truth with others like me enabled me to transform this power--to shape the power in my design, to own this power, as I own my blood, as I own my tears.   A name is a magical tool; naming is an act of power.

"Trash Television’s 'Bisexuals'"   Growing up with daytime talk shows such as Phil Donahue, I became accustomed to respectful, earnest and truthful dialogue that seemed more interested in expanding the viewer’s mind than in simply achieving the highest ratings at any cost.   Donahue always treated bisexuality, as any of his topics, with the respect it deserved, even when he didn’t quite “get it.” His guests were real bisexual people, obtained by contacting legitimate bisexual organizations. He would discuss what bisexuality is and is not, and often showed statistics and other facts.   Unfortunately, today’s talk shows are little more than comedies of errors. Guests are not often living the lives that are being portrayed, but are third-rate actors telling wild stories that producers instruct them to say. On the Jerry Springer Show, participants are even encouraged to become physically violent with each other. When daytime show gradually changed into these ridiculous affairs, I assumed that they had started accepting people who had not previously been allowed on stage because of the crazy predicaments they were in. How wrong I was.   One morning, I was listening to a respected radio show when an on-air personality began talking about the state of TV talk shows. Unpredictably, the switchboard began lighting up with one caller after another mentioning first-hand experiences with Jerry Springer and the like.   One person was contacted by a television producer through her modeling agency. This straight woman was asked to say that she was a lesbian mistress in order to stir up trouble in a marriage. The ruse was to be a complete surprise to the married woman, who didn’t know the model or the reason she was to be on the show. Another time, a man was contacted through his talent agency to play a pimp who held a sex worker hostage. Still another actor said he agreed to portray a “bisexual coming clean” before a marriage to a woman he would first meet that day on stage. Of course, the “fiancée” would end the engagement, not wanting anything to do with a “threatening” bisexual.   Many other radio callers had similar stories. All of those who went on TV to fabricate these scenarios were told either implicitly or explicitly not to be afraid to start fighting. They were reassured that security would break them up before things got out of hand.   The tales of these orchestrations inspired a friend and I to attend a taping of the Jerry Springer show in Chicago. We left the Windy City with a definite sense that the stories of Springer’s guests were either entirely made up or highly embellished. Audience members were cued when to sit, stand, shout and be animated. We saw supposedly feuding people whispering to each other during breaks, women smiling during hair-pulling stunts and actors struggling to keep from laughing during “fights.” All of these bloopers were edited out of the final product. We didn’t see an episode about bisexuality, but after this fiasco, it wasn’t necessary. The show’s credibility was already completely shot.   On the air, these stories are made to seem believable. Some Jerry Springer shows are obviously sad and true, but are still extreme. They are injected from time to time in order to legitimatize the staged segments via association. Springer’s often condescending and preachy “final comment” at the end of each show also enhances “validity”. Bisexuals are regularly told that they must always choose one gender or another, and that “real” love requires monogamy. Honest, open relationships are never validated.   Bisexual, transgender and polyamorist images seem to get hardest hit in these trashy venues. In the battle for high ratings and commercial sponsorship, real people, not actors, are hurt mentally, emotionally, socially andsometimes even physically. Springer and others’ defense of these shows as “just TV” is inadequate at best and assists in perpetuating prejudice.   The problem is that shows like these aren’t “just TV.” They present themselves as being authentic but withhold information that would enable at-home viewers to differentiate between reality and entertainment. The majority of society is fed misinformation, not the opportunity that Phil Donahue’s audiences were given to learn that bisexuals and other “minorities” are usually very normal, sane, honest, trustworthy and often just as boring as anyone else.   straight

The recent flap over Walt Disney has, again, not gone unnoticed. For those unaware, Disney corporation once again made a day for the gay pride movement, publicly recognizing the gay rights movement.   And, as last year, the Christian Right has once again stuck their nose where it does not belong. This year, they have taken out billboards to announce that homosexuality is a sin.   I mean, really. This topic, beyond all others seems to bring out the worst in everybody, much like the pre-antislavery issue did back in the 1800's. Apparently, we have learned nothing from history or about ourselves.   Homsexuality is the focal point of the Christian Right and of Christian moderates. Yet all around them, other more pressing issues still lie discarded, unnoticed, forgotten. Crime continues to rise, children kill other children in school, people die of starvation in the richest country in the world, drug dealers get rich on others’ misery, tobacco businessmen grow rich on an addictive drug some have called more potent than heroin. Yet the Christian community chooses to attack homosexuality.   “Why?” one might ask. The answer is simple. It is an issue that no one is against. That is, no one, at this point, who is heterosexual. The LGBT community fights back with education and pleas for understanding only to meet blind eyes and ears that will not hear. It is easier to be against something passionately when you really don't know anything about it. In the early nineteen hundreds, the Nazis were passionately against the Jews, but after the furor had died down, admitted that they really did not know anything about being a Jew and sheepishly admitted that some of their best friends were Jewish.   We are sheep, destined to follow another shepherd. This time, a shepherd who, proclaiming the righteousness of God, is leading us down yet another dead and dark path. Stand up and recognize the evil for what it is. One does not have to embrace homosexuality, as I do not, but one does have to allow for every human to breathe in the light of the freedom to express oneself in any manner.

Have you ever lain down in a field of grass, letting the soft wetness of midnight’s dew caress your skin, and just stared up at the stars? When I was a kid, I’d lie there in my grandmother’s fields and gaze up at the sky for hours, letting my mind wander far from the world and from who I was.   I’d be a superhero, an astronaut, a cowboy. Once or twice I even found myself wishing I was a used car salesman. It didn’t really matter who I dreamed of being, as long as it was someone, anyone other than who I was.   You might think that this made me just like any other wide-eyed dreamer boy of twelve, but it didn’t. Other boys dreamt out of hope, from desires born out of goals they wanted to reach. My eyes were wide from different things. They were open because of fear.   Even at such a tender age, I had no doubt of who I was. Being a bisexual kid growing up in the middle of nowhere is a fate just crueler than the greyest pits of purgatory. It didn’t help much that I had committed the gravest sin of all, either. I had fallen in love with another boy.   I had no idea what to call the way I felt for him: the strange tingle that ran throughout my body anytime my gaze fell on him for more than a moment, the way I dreamt of him wrapping his arms around me at night. I had never really known much about the concept of homosexuality, much less bisexuality. Things like that were only whispered about by the adults around me, and quickly followed by laughter or disgust. The children around me fooled with the words even though they had no knowledge what was so bad about them. They called each other faggots and queers as substitutes for harsher words.   All I’d ever heard about the way I felt was that it wasn’t natural and it was against God, a combination that put the fear of Hell in my scrawny little body like little else could. I was afraid that if I loved someone, the wrong someone, even if it was as truly and wholy as I could, I’d rot in Hell for all time. This had been the most horrifying thing I had learned of life up until then, even more frightening than death¾that love can sometimes be “wrong.”   But the fear never stopped me from dreaming about this boy I loved. His beautiful hazel eyes and tangled blond mop mixed so easily into the collage of female faces in my mind. His hands and face spilled over into the myriad of female body parts in ways only a twelve year old boy can think of. It was this fact that made me slowly look at myself and realize that I wasn’t evil for loving him. I wasn’t some perverted little thing to be feared and hated as the world thought I should be. My dreams told me that I was normal for me, and it was the world that needed to learn to deal with it.   I’m now ten years older and still learning to deal with all the consequences of who I was born to be. It took me eight long years to finally acknowledge my bisexuality out loud. I’ve stated it proudly, and also have made more than a few mistakes along the way. I just wonder how long it will take for the world to catch up. Until it does, I guess I’ll just have to keep doing what I’ve always done: living my live as best I can, and loving those as I will, simply because I do.

"Paths"   A narrow road leads through fields of gold and silver dewdrops on early mornings, winding and twisting through the sunlight as it glistens through the treetops and reflects off the tall grass below. Thousands of paths lead off in different directions along the way, leading to opportunities only the imaginative eye can see. I follow my path where I see fit to go and whereever destiny takes me. I trudge through thick and thin, realizing what makes me truly immortal. For my body will one day die along this path, but the lives of those whom I have touched will carry on my spirit ... forever.   During my senior year of high school, I was captain of the forensics team. I did a four-minute speech about myself and my life. It was called "Who Am I?" My speech dealt with what it was like growing up a fat woman, a bisexual daughter of two homosexual parents currently in interracial relationships, and about being Wiccan. When I decided to do the speech, I realized I was taking a great risk talking about something so personal and so controversial. In the end, I realized that I probably wouldn't win any great medals or honors by doing my speech. As a matter of fact, I was told by a lot of people that my speech wasn't appropriate for forensics. I didn't care. I felt that by doing my speech, I could reach out to others and let them see that I was just like them. I wanted to make a difference in people's lives.   After four competitions and a lot of negative comments about how inappropriate the subject of my speech was, I was ready to give up. I felt like no one was even willing to listen. It was after that fourth competition that I met a young man from a rural town near Superior, Wisconsin. He came up to me, shook my hand and thanked me for showing him that he was not alone. He had grown up not knowing where to turn: he knew he was gay, but was so scared of what would happen if he came out that he just stayed closeted. He told me that I gave him the courage to find his support system and start coming out. He no longer felt alone.   That was the reason I began doing activist work. I couldn't even begin to describe the emotions I felt just knowing I had changed one life, even if it was just one. I learned that sometimes when you think no one is listening, if you just start speaking louder, eventually someone will hear you. That alone makes all of the difference in the world.

To the Editors:   Your newsletter is great! Here’s a check to keep us on your mailing list. We still meet monthly, first Mondays, 7:30-9:30 p.m. at The United, 14 W. Mifflin St. The first hour is mixed and during the second hour, men and women meet separately. sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssCheers, sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssAstrid Newenhouse sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssBi?Shy?Why? sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssMadison

April 1992 - Minnesota amends its State Civil Rights Law to grant the most comprehensive civil rights protections for bisexual, lesbian, gay and transgender people in the country. Minnesota’s bisexual community unites with lesbian, gay and transgender groups to lobby for this statute. sssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss- BiNet USA

Crossword Puzzle - "The Bi's and the B's"

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sssss sssss Both Ways sss(This quote was said about Julius Caesar.)

quotes Quotes

“Bisexuality is the fullest expression of human liberation.”   ssssssssss- Don Fass     “If you are free, you are not predictable and you are not controllable. To my mind, that is the keenly positive, politicizing significance of bisexual affirmation.”   ssssssssss- June Jordan     “Their eyes are all asking are you in or are you out   And I think, oh man, what is this about?   Tonight you can’t put me up on any shelf   Because I came here alone and I’m going to leave by myself...”   ssssssssss- Ani DiFranco, from her song, “In or Out” klein

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