~ EPISODE #001 ~
"End of the World Prophecy"

One day, I got a theist flyer in the mail. It had dragons and multi-headed lion-like beasts on it. It mentioned the end of the world, and asked me if I was prepared, and whether I'd like to come to a three-part seminar. My first instinct was to throw it in the trash; upset at having been mailed such utter garbage by people who routinely condemn me to eternal torture just because I find the bible silly. That's what I would have done if this had been a day like any other, but it wasn't just any old day. This day was different. On this day, I saw that flyer for what it was: show material.

I showed the offending object to abraXas, who had announced to the Infidel Guy our intentions to do a show only weeks before, and asked him whether he wanted to accompany me to this seminar so we could get some bootleg audio of the event for the show. I thought he might curl his nose and refuse to set foot in a church. I was pleasantly surprised. A few days later, we were sitting in the pews glancing at one-another in disbelief at the stupidity they were passing off as educational information. Less than halfway into the seminar, we could tell this material was gold.

Prophet of God Our presenter was a perky young girl from a local religious school named Bobbie. She read the script provided to her by the youth minister with fervor and great sincerity. Her voice rose and fell with the urgency of each succeeding slide in the projector. It was obvious she really believed what she was telling us.

When it was over, they asked us to fill out these cards they had passed around at the beginning of the seminar. I turned mine in blank without a word. abraXas, ever the honest man, admitted that he hadn't bothered to fill his out. Everyone there shook our hands and thanked us for coming. I got the impression that the two of us were the only people off the street who had showed up to the seminar. The rest were regulars or people planted there to make the thing look more important than it really was.

When we got the footage back to the studio, we discovered that the sound quality was quite poor, but if you concentrated hard enough, you could make out what she was saying. We picked key phrases out of her presentation, interspersed it with our own commentary, bookended it with music, and called it a show. Our equipment was cheap, but our hopes were high. Nervously, we sent the show off to the Infidel Guy for inspection. He was running the stream at the time. I'm not aware what role Jake played in our acceptance, but soon we found ourselves in a prime time slot: 8PM Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. It was more than we could have hoped for. We definitely made an impression.

This show, while the audio quality is quite poor, has some interesting observations in it, and tends to put to rest the annoying claims of "prophecy" by the bible thumpers, since all the things they claim as precognitive are so vague they could mean just about anything. In short, Jesus is no better than Nostradamus, John Edward or any other two-bit psychic.

The Musical Interlewdz for this show are The End of the World as we Know it by REM, and Die With Your Boots On by Iron Maiden. We thought they were both pretty appropriate.

~ Kuoxsr